Posted in My Days, Semicurhat, Story, Think

Hate Love

I hate being in love. I hate feeling so happy when I meet you. Smiling shyly, awkwardly, with my heart beating so fast, cold hands, and cold sweat on my back. I hate being next to you, looking for a million sentences to make you laugh and smile. Doing anything to see that beautiful smile..thats my treasure, you are. Must everything you do, make me wanna smile..can I not like you for awhile? NO!

I hate reading your messages in my inbox. I hate the way I need so much time to reply, erasing it over and over again, thinking about it word by word. I’m looking for the perfect line! I hate falling in love, all the details I say, write, and send to you becomes so important. I hate being in this position but I just can’t help it, can’t I?

I hate thinking about you before I sleep and feeling something move inside my heart, spreading all over my body, making me feel so anxious. I hate spending an entire night just thinking about you. I hate it when I wake up in the middle of night, and look at my phone, find your messages. “udh tdur? gnite, hve a nice dream, let” THAT simple words can make me awake, and just call you right at the time!

I hate imagining how your face looks like right now, how you smile, what you’re doing with your friends, I hate being so worried when I know you caught a cold…I hate wondering where you go until midnight. I hate waiting you to come home, worried..I hate feeling so jealous when I see you talking with some other girls..or when you reply that message from you ex-girlfriend.

I hate believing you. I know you lied to me, so many lies! And I hate that I can believe you again after that. I hate being so sensitive and moody, and maudlin in front of you..I hate crying in the middle of night, just thinking how you’ve done me wrong..

I hate the way you hold my hand, the way you look at me, the way you make me laugh. I hate tha fact that I feel so cozy with ‘that’…I hate feeling empty when you’re not around. I hate waking you up in the morning,,you are such a big ‘kalong’. I hate looking your long black hair, feel that I’m talking with a girl. I hate looking you standing in my fences, and we talk about everything there. I hate being a kid when I’m with you, we acted like kids! I hate feeling my heart beating so fast when I suddenly see my dad’s car, or when my dad call me when I’m with you. I hate that I just cant stand a night without your call. I hate knowing you’re not here anymore.

I hate liking you. Because I’d have to look for small mistakes in you. Mistakes that I look for desperately becauandise I’d hate to know that you could be perfect, you could be flawless, and that I might have fallen for you…

I hate being in love, especially to you. Because in this overwhelming feeling, behind the urge to be with you, my heart struggles and explodes slowly.

Hate so much I love you. Hate so much I need you…

Anw, ini postingan dari, postingannya Indomielezat. 😀


22 thoughts on “Hate Love

  1. I hate the way I love,
    but I hate the way you suppose to love me baaaaaack…
    ~ di ripp, disadur, diancurin dari SilverChair


  2. @ tamtam
    CBB apaan si?? Yayy

    @ eru
    Hiks… 😦

    @ all
    Postingan nya udah di edit sana sini, tempel sana sini…*ditabok mbak indomielezat*

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